Some cats love nothing more than snuggles on a chilly winter day. They may sneak into your bed, jump on your lap when you’re on the computer, or follow you around meowing until you pick them up. But what if your pet is the opposite and doesn’t enjoy all those cuddles?
Why Doesn’t My Cat Like to Be Held?
The good news is that your cat is perfectly normal! Many felines will do everything they can to squirm and claw their way out of your hands. Don’t take this behavior as a sign of rejection! Your cat still loves you, and there is one of several factors causing their cuddle-resistance, including instincts, pain, and personal preference.
Why doesn’t my cat like to be held? | Being held can feel stressful or unsafe due to instinct, comfort level, or vulnerability. |
Why does my cat not like to be held even though they like me? | Many cats enjoy closeness but dislike restraint and prefer affection on their own terms. |
Why does my cat hate being picked up? | Lifting can trigger fear, loss of control, or physical discomfort. |
Why do some cats not like to be held? | Personality, early socialization, and past experiences all influence tolerance for handling. |
Why won’t my cat let me hold her anymore? | A sudden change may signal stress, pain, or an underlying health issue. |
Cats can be particular about how they prefer to be handled, and their tolerance for being held can vary. Understanding why some cats don’t like to be held, along with learning to read their body language, can help you make interactions more comfortable for both of you.
Do Cats Like Being Held? Understanding Natural Feline Behavior
When you realize your cat hates being picked up, it’s easy to get your feelings hurt.
Why does my cat not like to be held when I try to be the best pet parent possible?
Rest assured, you’re still certainly your cat’s favorite human!
While cats may be impressive predators when it comes to catching local birds, they sometimes become prey when out in the wild. Animals like dogs, foxes, and coyotes are all known to attack cats on occasion. To increase their chance of survival, felines have developed strong instincts to protect them from being captured.
These instincts include fighting back so that they can escape a predator’s clutches in an emergency. Often, cats that were not socialized when they were young are more likely to be uncomfortable with human touch, as they didn’t learn to trust humans until later in life.
You’ll also want to consider the fact that cats have different ways of showing their affection. While a human may hug someone to show they care, a cat has other ways. Your pet may do one or more of the following to show they love you:
Purr (sometimes quite loudly!)
Headbutt you
Curl their tail
Show you their belly
If you’re lucky enough to get one of these reactions from your feline, it’s a sure sign they like you!
Common Reasons Why a Cat Doesn’t Like to Be Held
If some cats are able to move past the “fight back” instinct, why does my cat hate being held? The truth is, there are other reasons that can influence your cat’s comfort level with being picked up.
Personality sometimes explains why cats don’t like to be held
Just like humans, cats have their own personalities. Some felines are outgoing and want to be around people and other cats as much as possible. Others are more timid or introverted, wanting lots of personal space and quiet.
Limited or no previous human contact can be a factor.
If your cat was previously feral, they may have a very strong distrust of humans. Even if they live in your home for a long time, they may always be wary of being picked up, and that is okay.
Your cat may have had a bad experience in the past.
Cats that have been the victim of an animal attack in the past may be especially skittish when held. They may fear they are going to be hurt once again. The same holds true if the cat was previously mistreated by a human. Their trust in humans may have diminished, but that doesn’t always mean it can’t be rebuilt.
Warning Signs Your Cat Doesn't Like to Be Held
It’s not always easy to tell whether a cat is the kind that will or won't enjoy snuggles. If you’ve ever picked up an angry cat, you know it’s not a fun experience for either of you! Learning to identify cues about your cat’s emotions can prevent unhappy experiences.
How do I know my cat doesn't like to be held?
You can get a good idea of your cat’s opinion of human touch by whether they like pets or gentle scratches. If your cat is hesitant to be petted, there’s a high chance they’re not going to respond well to being picked up.
If you attempt to pick up your pet, be on the lookout for early stress signals. These include:
Keeping their tail wrapped tightly around them
Exhibiting dilated pupils
Arching their back
Running away
Laying their ears flat against their head
These are signs your cat is not ready to be held. Continuing to try to pick up your cat will likely result in escalation. There will be no doubt if the situation has reached that point! Your cat may hiss, scratch, growl, howl, or even bite you in an effort to get out of your hands.
What to Do If Your Cat Doesn’t Like Being Held
Picking up a cat that doesn’t appreciate being held only hurts your relationship. Your cat won’t trust you to respect their boundaries in the future and may even become fearful of you.
You can try to gradually desensitize your cat to touch by giving them treats when you pet them. Over time, you can slowly build up the amount of time you are handling them. It’s important to note that many cats never reach the point of being picked up and held. You must respect your cat’s comfort level and never try to force the situation.
Being Picked Up Can Even Be Painful
Another answer to the question, “Why doesn't my cat like being held?” is that your cat is in pain. Conditions like cat arthritis can make being touched extremely painful. Sadly, cat arthritis is often underdiagnosed, which means you may not even realize what’s going on. Arthritic cats may show symptoms such as:
Jumping less than normal
Responding negatively when their joints are touched
Difficulty entering or exiting the litterbox
Stiffness when waking up or standing
To diagnose arthritis, veterinarians typically recommend a physical exam and x-rays.
How Pet Insurance Can Help a Cat That Doesn’t Like to Be Held
When a cat resists being held, it can sometimes point to stress, pain, or an underlying medical issue that requires veterinary care, whether it’s arthritis or a variety of other conditions.
While many pet owners worry about the cost of vet visits, cat health insurance can help with the cost of diagnostic exams, treatment, or behavioral support. Embrace offers policies that make emergency visits much more affordable.
Pairing a policy with an optional cat wellness plan can help you budget for routine care, such as exams or preventive visits that support early detection.
Why Does My Cat Hate Being Picked Up?
There are multiple reasons your cat won’t let you hold them. All cats are born with an instinct to resist being captured, but cats that are socialized with humans early in life are often comfortable with being held as adults.
Your cat may be experiencing arthritis or another medical condition that makes contact painful. Some pet owners find success in gradually increasing the amount of time handling their pet, but many cats simply never grow to enjoy being held. Respect your cat’s boundaries, and they will soon learn to trust you and show affection in their own way.